The Burritos of San Francisco

Have I mentioned that San Francisco is a food town? Virtually every type of cuisine in the world can be found here in abundance. So if you ask a San Franciscan, “What’s the one thing I’ve got to eat when I visit?” it might come as a bit of a surprise to you that the answer you get is not the fresh crab at Fisherman’s Wharf, Sushi, or some exotic dish from a remote corner of the world. More often than not, a local will tell you, “You’ve got to get a burrito.”

A burrito is to San Francisco what cheesesteak is to Philadelphia – or a hot dog is to Coney Island. A full-course meal neatly packaged between two sheets of tinfoil, it is the ultimate San Francisco staple – inexpensive, reliable, and omnipresent. To find a burrito, simply go to any Taqueria. Though most are located in the Mission District, there isn’t a San Francisco neighborhood without at least one taqueria within walking distance. Only Starbuck’s has a greater presence in this town.

Above: A new favorite of mine, Taqueria Azteca, attached to Antonio's Nut House, serves delicious burritos and other Mexican fare. It's located on California Avenue 3 blocks east of El Camino Real in Palo Alto, CA. Click photo to enlarge.

I recently discovered a little gem of a web site that reviews and rates San Francisco’s burritos. If you’re looking for the best burrito in town, BurritoEater.com is an excellent guide.

What makes a San Francisco burrito so special? Variety, for one. There are infinite ways a burrito can be assembled and that means that there are burritos for everyone. You have your choice of beans: black, pinto, refried, or refried black. Often, you also get a choice of rice. Of course you can get the traditional ingredients, carne asada (steak), chile verde (green chile), al pastor (barbecue pork), spicy chicken, and varieties of fish or shrimp. The most authentic taquerias also offer lengua (tongue) and cerebro (brains). You can also always find combinations of vegetables, cactus, and tofu. You can get burritos stuffed with eggs and potatoes. Or you can order my favorite, the Chile Relleno Burrito – a bell pepper stuffed with cheese, dipped in batter, fried to a golden brown, then chopped up, briefly seared on the grill with some salsa, and stuffed into the burrito. Yum!

Though variety is the spice of life, the diversity of burritos in San Francisco is not what makes them memorable. That’s where size comes in. This is the stuff of legend. This is what inspires people to go home with tales, like fishermen, of “the big one” (while holding their hands apart at ever-widening distances). They’ve been called “blimps,” “the size of footballs,” and “as big as your head.” The first time I got one, my genuine initial reaction was astonishment. Stack two Bud Light cans on end and wrap them in tinfoil. A San Francisco burrito is a little bit larger than that.

Above: A San Francisco burrito (left) towers over a domestic housecat named Mookie (right). Click photo to enlarge.

And when my mom and her significant other, Dan, visited me for the first time, the first place I took them was Taqueria San Jose on Mission Street, because, as I told them, “We’ve got to get a burrito!”

We stepped up to the counter and perused the many options, which were painted on a large board hanging over the heads of the servers. I placed my order and stepped aside for Dan to place his.

Clearly in Taco Bell mode, I heard him say “I’ll have two beef burritos, a taco, and…”

I had to do something. Turning to him, and not wanting to be impolite, I said, “Why don’t you just start with one burrito?”

He gave me a look. It was that look an adult gives someone younger than they are that says, “You’re telling me what to do, you little punk? I can kick your ass. You better believe it!”

“You can always come back for more,” I quickly added.

Plainly unconvinced, but not wanting to argue with his sweetheart’s beloved eldest son, he politely, if hesitantly, acquiesced and ordered a single burrito. And then I watched him with tremendous but totally impreceptible satisfaction as he struggled to finish it, which he did. He did not, however, go back for more. And to this day, like a true fisherman, he sits by the lake with his buddies in Nebraska and tells the tale of the burrito he had in San Francisco that was “this big.”

I'm sure there are a lot of other uses for such a large burrito (besides eating them). You could stuff them in your sheets, for instance, to keep your feet warm and toasty on those cold San Francisco Summer nights. Or use them as a neck rest in the car on road trips.

Below: Sherman, a domestic house cat (bottom), sleeps comfortably, nestled beneath the hefty warmth of a San Francisco burrito. Click photo to enlarge.


Can you think of any other good uses for a burrito this size? (Am I going to regret asking that question?)

I know Grand Island has some of the best Mexican food to be found north of the border. But what about burritos? If you know of a good burrito in Nebraska, write a review on Burritophile.com, a web site that, oddly enough, was inspired by the inability to find a good burrito in Lincoln, NE.